“Open adoption is about information sharing.” Share your reaction to that statement. How well does it match up with your experience of open adoption? If you disagree, how would you finish the phrase, “Open adoption is about…”?
When I read that in Heather’s post introducing this topic, my first reaction was, “It’s more than that, though.” Because it is.
If we were having a mere exchange of information, M, C, J and us would have been done with each other years ago. As far as medical histories go, we know pretty much all there is to know about each other. We get them information about how our daughter is doing both physically and mentally. We know where everybody lives, our phone numbers, the best times to reach us. There you go.
For us, it’s about building a family. A big, messy, sometimes emotionally turbulent family. We say stupid things to and about each other (and you, over there with the self-righteous smirk? Yeah, you do it too. I’ve seen you. Don’t lie.). We walk on eggshells and are brutally, hurtfully honest in turn. Some of us have different political and religious views. You know, like a family.
The only thing we have in common is a child. Someone we love beyond anything else on earth. She is why we do all this; the visits, phone calls, pictures. Trying to put together a family where none existed before. For her.
Seeing as how that was in the context of explaining open adoption to a bunch of prospective adoptive parents, I’d say that was a little more wordy, but more accurate. They’ll have to figure out everything else about open adoption on their own, like the rest of us did.
That was my entry in the OAB Roundtable #19. Please go over to Production, not Reproduction to see the rest of the posts. They’re all different, but they’re all great writers too.