It’s Adoption Month

As I said yesterday, November is National Adoption Month.  The whole idea of NAM is to celebrate and promote adoptions from foster care.  Somehow, it’s been stretched to include all adoptions.  Every agency in our state that I know of has some sort of National Adoption Month “party”/promotional day.  A’s adoption was finalized during one of our agency’s celebrations.  I think that maybe 3 of us had our actual finalization hearing that day, and maybe there were one or two people who actually adopted from foster care instead of adopting an infant.  Maybe.  

Do I feel badly about that?  I don’t know.  I do know that the agency we used has come a long way in terms of openness in adoption and ongoing support of adoptive families.  I’d like to see that extended to first families – and have it be much more proactive than reactive as it was when our adoption happened.  But I don’t know when or if that will happen.  

All that rambling is to say that adoption is a mixed bag at best.  It is supposedly for “the best interests of the child”.  Sometimes it is.  But sometimes it’s not.  The feelings and actions of all the adults around the child make that…difficult to see a “best interest” at times.  But that’s true for any child, adopted or not, I think.  Our adoption has had greater and lesser degrees of openness; sometimes we’ve seen A’s other family a lot, sometimes not for months at a time.  But I suppose if the intention is there, if the door is open…


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